There is nothing in this life that can prepare you to watch a loved one die. That. is the first lesson I learned this year. And oh...how my year has been shaped.

I never thought things would end like this. I never thought that I'd be twenty-eight, spending your last days with you. Holding your hand. Wiping tears from my eyes. Making sure you had something to drink. Watching you take little sips of Coca Cola through a straw. Asking you questions. Not knowing if I would get an answer. and being delighted to hear your voice.

"Give me a hug, mija." My heart always smiled at your voice. I will never forget how I hugged you so tight.

Oh how I wish I could hear your voice. and hold your hand. and hug you again. and have you listen to me play guitar for you (horribly might I add).

Goodness, I miss you.

I stayed strong for you. in those moments. because I wanted you to feel safe. I needed you to know that you were surrounded by love. and as much as possible. we would be with you to the end.

I've been learning lessons all year. Literally catching loss after loss. Left and right...

But my greatest loss has been you.

#death #life #grief #loss #hope